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When children feel shame
There’s some benefit in the feeling, but it can go too far.
Shame is brought on by making a mistake and feeling bad about it. The emotion occurs in the body via tension in your throat or chest, and a sinking stomach. It’s often accompanied by self-critical thoughts about how there’s something flawed in yourself or that others think badly of you.
Shame can be temporary due to a recent event, such as feeling bad if you thoughtlessly didn’t keep the door open for the person behind you and it hit them. Or it can be longer term, when you start feeling as if you are generally unworthy. The second type tends to come out of repeated negative experiences, such as having a consistently critical parent, or experiencing an unsupportive manager who makes you feel flawed in your general work worthiness.
As with lots of feelings, it should be a useful emotion, that’s evolved over time to help us form cohesive social groups. Knowing when you are not contributing successfully to the tribe, would direct your actions into ones that were good for the group. This would keep you a member of the cave. However those members without attuned shame feelings, would not identify their uncooperative acts, and would likely be the first to be kicked out when room was tight.
