The complexities facing bystanders of cyberbullying
For the last two columns I’ve spoken about cyberbullying. I’ve looked at it from the experience of a victim, and the potential causes of being a perpetrator.
But cyberbullying is more than simply an isolated interaction between two people. Typically, there are many online bystanders witnessing cyberbullying. Because of this, there’s been a recent push to educate children to step in and defend victims as another way to stop it.
Psychological research suggests that there are three potential roles a child can take on if they observe cyberbullying. These are: assisting or reinforcing the perpetrator; actively defending the victim; or remaining an outsider.
Why would a person join in with a bully? Reinforcement of the bullying might help them gain a valued sense of affiliation with a popular aggressor. For a weaker person, they might see an opportunity to gain more social standing.
In fact, a strategic cyberbully may encourage others to retaliate en masse. They might use emotional language that describes their hurt or anger at the actions of the person they are targeting. Many of these responders might think their online comments are ones of support rather than bullying.
While a cyberbully’s emotional reaction could be genuine, essentially, they are encouraging large numbers of people to retaliate against one person. This usually means that it is a more deliberate and bullying response to being hurt or angered, rather than seeking the support of real-life friends or family.
There are a few reasons why a child would be less likely to step in and defend someone being targeted. In a large crowd of online viewers, many are impacted by the ‘bystander effect’ — not acting due to the belief that that another will intervene. This also risks people believing that others not intervening indicates that the bullying isn’t so serious or problematic.
Bystanders are less likely to act because the bully is probably popular. It takes more courage to defend the victim, because there remains a risk that the tormenter will turn their attention to the person intervening. Often, a bully will vehemently disagree with anyone dissenting with their point of view, almost as a warning to others to not take them on too.
Those who do defend tend to have key personal attributes. Most are likely to have strong self-efficacy — the belief that their actions will likely be successful. They are more likely to be more morally engaged. They’re also less likely to rationalise to themselves that ethical standards don’t apply in the current situation.
Research finds that girls and younger students are more likely to engage in defending behaviour than boys. Boys are more likely to defend if they themselves have emotional issues and are likely to be triggered when seeing others being attacked. This reaction might prompt them to step in more but risks them being more aggressive too.
It is important to remember that it’s not just defending that can be helpful. Simply observing and not commenting or sharing is passive but more supportive for the victim than joining the cybermob.
Given the situational challenges, it’s understandable that children don’t always respond in a manner that actively defends the victim. Watching bullying can be a distressing experience for some children and adults. While that might encourage some to act, it might also make some freeze.
Some experts in bullying suggest that the push for bystanders to be upstanders is not ideal. They believe it’s too much pressure in a complex and potentially dangerous situation.
Unfortunately, nothing about bullying is simple to solve. But, in the meantime, we can keep trying our best and, most importantly, being our best selves online.
Takeaway for parents
There are some anti-bullying actions that parents can help with.
· Have adults choose random sports teams, to stop kids being chosen by peers.
· Practice and encourage empathy when you can. Shows such as Wicked, reveal the backstory of why a character behaves the way they do.
· Encourage children to interact with others from diverse backgrounds and with differing skills to develop tolerance and understanding of difference.
· If your child jokes about things such as people’s race, gender, or physical attributes, calmly explain why it’s not ok.
· Schools can educate students on digital empathy, particularly teaching awareness that online environments can impair one’s empathy.
