Magical thinking can be cute, but can cause harm
Magical thinking is a superstitious belief that two unrelated events are connected. It is often used as a means of managing a fear of the unknown. When you think that you can direct the future via specific actions, you feel better. This confidence remains regardless of whether your actions were truly impactful or not at all.
At its simplest and least intrusive, magical thinking encourages someone to carry around a small crystal in their handbag for good luck. Or touch wood when making optimistic statements. At its most interfering, it’s the compulsive actions in OCD. An example might be a ritual involving touching the light switch ten times, to ensure you go to bed safely.
Most children go through a stage of magical thinking that starts around four years old and wanes by mid primary. It comes at a great time for children as they easily believe in the sorts of things that make childhood enchanted. These are the years of the tooth fairy and imaginary play.
Early on, it can encourage children to become obsessed with a particular object that they insist on carrying around. This can be something like ‘blankie’, a piece of blanket that makes them feel safe. It’s a cute obsession, until you leave blankie in the park and must race back through the afternoon traffic to retrieve the precious item.
Most children grow out of the magical thinking stage when their knowledge of science interferes with their magical beliefs. But it persists for some. In fact, it takes a particularly logical mind to not have any superstitious beliefs.
For example, would you be willing to write a sentence saying that something bad would happen today? If you wouldn’t — due to a fear of making it happen — then you’re likely to still have some magical thinking.
There’s not a lot wrong with superstition in small doses. It gives people a feeling of comfort and a sense of self-efficacy — even if it’s illusory. But there is a point where it can become detrimental.
A teen might have a pen that they obsessively want to take into each exam. If the pen is a particularly smooth writing instrument, then it probably helps them to write essays quickly. Thus, the pen is special to them because of its true qualities.
But certain types of anxious people will become misled about objects like this. The teen might think they’ve aced past exams because of this ‘lucky’ pen. That would be magical thinking.
It might produce problems. If the pen was lost prior to exams, then there would be needless negative consequences on the teen’s confidence.
Sometimes people cope with tricky events by invoking magical thinking. So, if a person’s wallet was stolen, they might deduce it was because they didn’t give the charity collector some money that morning. They might resolve to always give the collectors money when they see them, for it not to happen again. It’s false security, but if it helps them, then it’s not necessarily destructive.
Parents should tolerate minor forms of magical thinking. But be careful that your actions don’t inadvertently encourage these thoughts. For example, it’s ok if your child needs blankie for a time. But make sure that it’s their efforts that keep blankie in their life. You shouldn’t be making sure they have it each time you leave the house. That’s because your actions risk suggesting to them that they do, in fact, need a tattered piece of blanket.
As with all quirks, the difference between harmless and harmful lies in the impact of the habit on one’s life. There are tips below to determine if it is tolerable or needs to be consciously curtailed.
Takeaway for parents
The following elements are signs that your child’s magical thinking is detrimental, and you might need to seek professional assistance.
· Your child needs to do elaborate routines to feel ok, such as washing their hands excessively or repeatedly checking doors are locked.
· They refuse to miss the routine if you’re running late.
· The routines appear to be increasing in complexity.
· Your child requires that you do things in certain ways too, or that you become a part of their routine.
· When being minded by someone else, they insist on contacting you regularly to check you’ve come to no harm.
