Improve your children’s potential via the family meal
One of the easiest ways to improve your child’s potential in a range of areas doesn’t involve spending loads of money on vocabulary flash cards, pricey extracurricular activities, or the latest technology.
It doesn’t really involve taking on anything new. But it is making sure you do one thing well. That thing is eating a family meal together at a table, ideally every day, but a couple of times a week is sufficient.
So how can you make sure your family get all the benefits? Try these things.
Get everyone involved
Everyone’s busy, but they all should be involved in dinner, as it’s not one person’s job. Whether it’s cooking, setting the table, clearing the plates, or cleaning the kitchen, everybody can do something. Shared contribution also ensures that the meal is more of an event. They need to be there to eat, so extend their involvement to be prior to or after the meal.
It’s particularly important that children increasingly become involved in food preparation. There’s evidence to suggest that being a part of making a meal makes children less fussy eaters. This can range from them getting you six carrots, to cutting new foods into interesting shapes for the salad, to preparing a new recipe themselves, or doing it as a shared project with you.
It is not only fussy eaters which can benefit. In busy lives, doing a chore together such as cooking, give you time to catch up. Also, the conversation is more natural as it is casual chat working together, rather than an interrogation. This may help withdrawn teens relax a little and let you in on their lives.
Check in with each other
The whole point of the family meal is to spend time together and find out about each other’s days. To make sure, turn the TV off and don’t allow anyone to have their phone, tablet, or a book at the table. This stops people being side-tracked. Ask simple questions about how each other’s day was, and what’s happening for them tomorrow.
Let everyone be Graham
Talk show hosts usually are highly skilled at drawing conversation from their interviewee. But hosts such as Graham Norton are particularly talented at bringing a few people into the conversation.
Typically, one of the parents are taking on the role of host, but I suggest that you teach your older child similar skills. Have a roster where different family members take charge of keeping conversation flowing, after you have checked in with each other. I have some suggestions for topics below.
It is important that everyone help the elected host. Maybe have a basic rule of answering in more than single words or sentences and occasionally throwing questions back to others too.
Truly listen
Everyone should have an equal say on different topics of conversation. Let each person get the chance to voice their opinion and for others to listen. There shouldn’t be any sense of the ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ view on a topic.
Keep it light
The family dinner is not the place to for heavy conversation, such as demanding everyone do more chores, or berating the family for their bathroom mess. If conversation steers into an emotional place, acknowledge it, but try to schedule another time to really discuss the issue.
Have basic rules
Set up some simple rules for the dinner table, such as the following. Use please and thank you, including thanking the cook for the meal. Wait until everyone is served before you eat. Eat with your mouth closed. Use cutlery and napkins properly. Don’t leave until everyone has finished.
Bon appétit!
Takeaway for parents
Allow your child to come up with topics to keep the conversation flowing, such as some fun questions.
· If you were to write your life story now, what would you call it and why?
· What are your thoughts on the news story about ____?
· If we had three more places for dinner here, who would you invite and why?
· What are your most and least favourite sounds?
· If you had to eat breakfast, lunch, or dinner for every meal, which one would you choose and why?
· If you were a spy and had to change your name for a mission, what would you call yourself?
