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Dwelling on the past can hold you back
Sure, acknowledge the disappointment. But, at some point, you have to move on.
One of my first jobs as a clinical psychologist was assessing and treating workplace injuries. Many were pain issues caused by terrible workplace accidents, and some were the result of awful incidents of bullying.
But occasionally, I would have a case where the person believed they were damaged because of a relatively minor incident that happened many years ago at work. Some of these seemed mild episodes, such as not being praised by a manager as often as they would prefer. Or still smarting from a workplace meeting where they believe they were humiliated by being disagreed with.
These minor types of issues were typically rejected as legitimate insurance claims. And yet the claimants continued to be extremely upset or angry about moments one would describe as typical of the occasional challenges of dealing with other people. They recounted these incidents as if they were yesterday, with what appeared to be fresh hurt and fury.
Many believed that their performance and comfort at work was still impacted, years later. Leaving the workplace and moving on didn’t seem an option for them. Indeed, some seemed to be still waiting for an apology for that comment at the Christmas…
